I'm sorry I didn't understand what T's mean, I guess it means the other person, right?

Yeah it's very difficult, Understanding the roots of intimacy problems gives us better insight and perspective on why we are unable to form deep meaningful relationships.

For me and because of what you wrote above, I tend to be very careful when I choose someone. Most people are self centered, and not thoughtful and sensitive to others. I only divulge my most troubling issue when I feel I can trust that person enough and when I feel He can understands me and supports me relationally. I have very few people that I allowed to be so close to me, and that's fine to me, because others will cause us damage more tan repair.

For me toxic shame, and the unrelenting inner/outer critic are my first priorities to disarm and shrink, and they require a lot of time and its not easy. Reading Pete Walkers book was eye-opening to me, and I intend to read " Toxic Shame" by John Bradshaw. The community of self help books does a very slow but realizable progress toward deep recovery.

I hope you well, and never give up.