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Originally Posted by Christopher1990
Yes. It has led me to ip. After my most recent episode I felt like he has completely abandoned me and I feel like I have lost my soul. Seriously. The connection I had is gone. I used to pray at night and really feel a connection. I can't seem to regain that connection. I feel like I went too far too the other side and just lost myself in it. I don't know. I went to church sunday and I teared up in the begining. But, the feelings still there. I have to do some soul searching. I was considering finding a shaman. I don't know the answer to this. I think we have to do some digging.
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I understand what you mean. I am so lost for answers. I did try to pray myself, and did in fact Talk to God after this post and was left a crying mess. Its like I can hear him inside of me, and I know that's just the illness talking. I will do some soul searching thank you. I do hope you find God on your quest too. I hope one day your prayers are answered.
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Originally Posted by rainyday107
I don't have answers but you are in my thoughts. |
Thank you so much sweetheart! That means a lot.
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Originally Posted by Mysterious153
 Dear LadyShadow,
I haven't logged on to Pschcentral for nearly a month but your post grabbed my attention. I was a believer when I was young but mostly a doubter now. The one exception was when I actually survived a very serious attempt (It was my one and only attempt and I work everyday to ensure I don't get that way again). But now, nearly a year and a half later, the feeling has faded.
 Life was much simpler and had more meaning when I believed that Jesus Christ was my saviour! But I can't pretend to have feelings that are not in my heart. I respect and am happy for those who believe and hope you once again find your way back to the spirituality you once had. 
Regardless of where your spiritual path leads you, I sometimes read your posts and notice they all have a lot of heart and soul. So whether or not there is a god, there is a wonderful spirit inside of you. Maybe "God" just lives inside of all of us! I don't know. Obviously, spirituality is a struggle for many on PsychCentral because we ruminate way more than we should about all kinds of things. 
 Sincerely, Myst |
Thank you so much! I am glad I am not just posting out into the void and no one is paying attention, lol. You're right I don't know what the answers are but everything I write and communicate comes directly from my soul. I have been gone away from this place a while too. I kinda just lost myself out there on the internet, but I am glad I found my way back home.
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Originally Posted by jupiter3
Wow that's so interesting about the Facebook thing! I personally would take that as a sign. Whether or not it's Jesus giving you the sign is irrelevant- the sign was there when you needed it and helped you make a healthy decision.
I felt extremely connected and saw all sorts of coincidences and signs before I went inpatient. I maintain that some of these were real, some of them were part of my illness. I still see coincidences/signs now that I'm stable but not as much, and I'm okay with that, because I think that part of the reason I was seeing all that was that a part of my brain opened up and I was TOO connected. It was beautiful but impossible to maintain.
I'm sorry you feel that your God has abandoned you. Someone once told me God is like the wind, we can feel him or her but we can't see him/her.
I don't know what you are looking at online, but Jesus is not the only way people find God- I am Catholic and it is for me, but I also believe that God is present in most if not all religious and spiritual paths.
Have you looked into Buddhism? I don't consider it a religion per se, and have no issues reconciling it with my other beliefs- to me it's more of a philosophy, and it's tenets have made my life a lot more bearable.
So that was a long way of saying to keep searching.
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Thank you!! I will keep searching. I have looked into Buddhism, but I don't feel it can help me find God. I don't know. I have a very heavy heart, with so much love and feelings and hope and I want to accept God into my life. At least you still have the coincidences. This is the first one I have gotten in 8 months, when I used to feel connected all the time. I get what you're saying about being TOO connected. I feel that's what happens to me too. It's so impossible to maintain cause well you're just nuts! You see things you hear things, you're all powerful and the Spirit of God is working through you. Oh how I miss that!
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Originally Posted by TishaBuv
God spoke to you through Facebook, accessing your contacts, showing you your cheating suitor's photo with his girlfriend! I love it! You can call that a miracle and evidence of God speaking to you, and it did you a favor, sparing you from the heartbreak of being played.
You don't have to look for God. God is inside us and everywhere.
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Thank you for that!! He did show me didn't He? He is inside us, you're right. I just have to listen.