My name is JaneTennison1 and I'm a recovering "harraser" my ex T also said she felt harrassed by me even though I barely contacted her as I was scared of losing her. I was so ashamed of myself. I started seeing new T and one of the first things she said was that if a person doesn't feel heard they just get louder. She made me see that my needs were not wrong but ex T could not meet them.
It seems like the attachment will be too hard to leave but leaving might be the best thing. I have made huge progress in T now that I'm away from exT. She was toxic for me.
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