Hi, I was been diagnosed with PTSD over 2 years ago...

One of the things I have noticed when I am triggered & in a relationship (not cause within the relationship but not excluding the relationship either) is I tend to push that person away regardless. I say impractical and damaging things like... “Hey, you know what how about I contact by email next Wed”. When next Wed is like 8 days away. The reason I do this, simple I feel threatened, I just do not feel safe being around anyone. Part of it is about emotional avoidance too. The trigger is real, the threat is not. I need to recovery time.

Usually I am mad when I do this... I am on medication to slow things down, but if the trigger hits me fast, and blindsides me, I am reactive verbally and my brain is not really engage as I am in protect mode. Some times this would be a prime reason I would start to disassociate and not remember any of what I said. Then I call the person an hour or so later and they are like “WTF. You told me you were not going to contact me for 8 days. Why are you calling me?”

This is rather serious problem for me so any suggestions or person experiences with the same would be welcome. I really need to work on not being such a jerk— Thanks!