Quote:
Originally Posted by Wolfeyes1
I am sorry you feel this way and are going there this but if Jesus was not in my life I would be a lot worse off, I don't go to church and I am not religious but God is number one in my life and I am very grateful for all his blessing, I may have some illnesses but I don't blame Jesus for them because it is not from him he loves me and he loves all of us, If it wasn't for him I don't think I would be alive today, He has been looking out for me threw thick and thin, I am sorry you are struggling but Jesus is not the enemy
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You misunderstand me. I didn't say I thought Jesus was the enemy. Far from it actually. I would love to welcome him back into my heart and into my life and be able to talk to him again. The thing is when I am praying and connecting and feeling him in my heart and in my life, I become manic and end up back in the hospital. Its like he speaks through me, and literally lives in me.
You have a different connection with him and that's great! More power to you. I just end up in the hospital when I start to let the Spirit come through me. I take it too far. I become TOO connected as someone else had mentioned. And I can't break the bond or come back down to reality without being heavily medicated.
Its a horrible dilemma for me, because I want to keep my mental health but I also crave a relationship with God again. It looks like I can't have both.