You say he is calling you on it? What is he saying exactly? I know in the beginning T use to ask me what I will do in her absence? I'd reply, "rub you out" and she'd smile and say that by doing that I am also "rubbing" part of me out and that infact I would feel stronger If I were to keep her in.

I had no idea what she was talking about at the time, as I had no idea I even dissoicated at that point, as that was rule of thumb for me in life.

Only gradually wiht each absence I began to "mourn" her absence and managed to allow that feeling to remain. I don't think it was something I could do completely consiously, though by journalling my thoughts and feelings around her absence i was becoming more aware of them instead of just this heavy dark cloud I put everything down too.

As adults we really aren't that fragile in reality, only in our minds, and yes our minds can "break" down, infact I think I've had many little breakdowns during the processs,but each time I've come back more whole.

Yes I understand exactly how your feeling, but you've got to feel it. There are no short cuts. If you want to get out of this hole, you've got to keep on digging or your be stuck in quick stand for ever, the extra push is worth it for ((YOU))