Quote:
Originally Posted by LadyShadow
You misunderstand me. I didn't say I thought Jesus was the enemy. Far from it actually. I would love to welcome him back into my heart and into my life and be able to talk to him again. The thing is when I am praying and connecting and feeling him in my heart and in my life, I become manic and end up back in the hospital. Its like he speaks through me, and literally lives in me.
You have a different connection with him and that's great! More power to you. I just end up in the hospital when I start to let the Spirit come through me. I take it too far. I become TOO connected as someone else had mentioned. And I can't break the bond or come back down to reality without being heavily medicated.
Its a horrible dilemma for me, because I want to keep my mental health but I also crave a relationship with God again. It looks like I can't have both.
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I am sorry I must have misunderstood and that is terrible you are going threw this, I don't know what advice to give you and I wish I did, Have you ever thought of talking to a pastor or some one that you trust with this spiritual problem, I don't want you to think I am crazy but some times when people try to get closer to God the enemy will attack because he does not want you closer to God, I have had other people I know say the say thing so I know I am not crazy, It is true we live in a spiritual world with good and evil, Doctors and Scientists don't believe in God or the spiritual world, If you bring it up to them they will think you are crazy and delusional, I will be praying for you and trust your heart that is the Holy Spirit you are feeling