I am not a leader. I am a follower, or a codependent is maybe the best term.

I am overwhelmed with everything put on me to make happen. I don't really know what to do with myself.

I am not lazy. I had no problem working 70 hour weeks in retail when I worked with my parents. I knew what I had to do and I happily did it.

The concept of what I have to do to be totally employed in what I'm doing now is way too overwhelming for me to take on alone. If I had a partner who was with me or guiding me, it would be a different story. Plus I don't want to be completely involved in my work. I want to spend time with my family.

I can't even handle knowing what I am supposed to be doing on a daily basis. I don't have a routine that is productive and healthy. I am totally in charge of everything I do, and I am overwhelmed, underwhelmed, bored, frustrated, and I get depressed.

I'm a person who does best along others who are at least equal with me in doing things, and I don't do well alone.

My husband has a career that is totally his, it's not something I can do with him. When he's home, he's lazy, he just likes to watch TV. There isn't much to do even for recreation where we live, not much culture.

I could get him into what I do, and he would help me with it, but I haven't figured that out yet as to how. I have a lot to learn before I know what I'm doing.

So, we spend a lot of time watching TV and I climb the walls with boredom.

This is the problem! Of course it's my own fault. There are loads of things I could do, but I feel too overwhelmed about even starting, or I feel too depressed to bother because those things are not necessary and I just get depressed.

I have depression! I really do.

If I had a h that motivated me and kept me busy, I'd be fine. It's not like I can't get out of bed with depression...it's that I can't motivate myself depression, if that makes sense.