I like him...a lot! And I think he likes me too. The problem though, the real problem is his mother. I met her, and at first i liked her yet felt there was something a little off.
I began noticing how she talks to him, very negative. It's always negative! Never anything positive. She puts him down, and the next I know he looks soo depressed. And so of course with my bipolar I know how he's feeling.
He told me at one time that he's looking for a wife. In conversation with his mother, before realizing how negative she really is, I mentioneqd that to her and it was then I found out, through her, that he's twice divorced. But my feeling is "so what"? Then just yesterday her and I were on the phone and she opened up with how she told him to forget getting married, that "you already had two wives and you messed that up, you wouldn't be able to deal with a wife getting on you with picking up behind yourself, etc, just live your life, etc." One time as he was leaving, she ran behind him, saying "do something with that house." And what did he do? I saw him just hang his head, and continue to walk on. She takes the conversation away from him in that one day he and I were talking and she butts in and interrupts, having all attention on her. He got up and left, and while doing so hung his head.
She knows I'm planning, at least try to, relocate to their state, and learn how to drive. He's very happy about that. But momma is now trying to dissuade me, one stupid reason being that "you may not be able to deal with the darkness down here" and as for the driving, "people down here drive crazy." It makes me wonder if she really understands that I'm a New Yorker!
I want so much to help him. I went online and found out that the only way to help someone with a controlling, negative mother like that is to be there for the person and continue loving them. I believe that. Yet now I'm beginning to wonder if that's really enough? Will he actually allow me to? Or he is so damaged by her that he won't accept my love? She told me that after their conversation, he told her "mom, i don't know what I'll do without you."
And by the way, he's not a teenager, or a 30 something. He's 76! I really care about him.
My therapist, who doesn't know, yet, of this new development, seems to feel that it's just in me to get involved with people like this. I don't know.