Well I posted all over the place today and the things I wrote and read from others helped with my "confusion".

Sometimes I've felt uncertain about some of the conclusions I've come to in therapy and I hate uncertainty but I am certain it helped with the following:

I did need to talk to you about it what I did in order to process it. It's not something you can talk to anyone casually and I fear if I talk to my family about it I would retraumatize them.

The next time I see my therapist I'm going to ask, "Since I've talked about it at length, would it be OK for me to just move on and stop talking about it? I know I have changed myself by what I did. I know what I feel about what I did. Could terminating therapy help me move on? Or is that just wishful thinking?

I want to stop thinking about my mental health status and move toward normalcy. I know I am a little different from others in a sad sort of way but hope I won't always feel that way. I hope to put depression and all the madness behind. I don't want to need to see a therapist.