How often do you see your T?

This does sound like depressive thinking. Plan to talk with her about all this, in case you haven't already.

Be proud of yourself for quitting the alcohol and the suboxone (if I understood that part correctly). Focus on little things that you can do, they add up.

Envision your house as an example of fractal geometry with each tiny bit showing repetitive similarity and large scale duplication. ...I guess the other way to say it is "baby steps", but fractals are more impressive, I think.
Let's see if this works to show a fractal: