I don't understand either, he knows how I feel about him or he should. I don't mention it now to avoid confrontation. He maybe isn't aware that I've broken up with the new guy as I haven't talked about it to him and he hasn't asked.

He actually said to me he enjoyed my posts on the forum I was on yesterday which he didn't need to. He seems to have forgotten about the posts we fell out over last week. It's not like he asked me to come back to the forum which he did on a previous occasion I left, because of him, so I think he's quite happy for me to be at arms length, which I am anyway, because he lives far away. I let him text me now because he got annoyed at me once for 'bombarding him with texts', which I wasn't by some people's standards. He said he needed his own space. I think he was annoyed at me and found me a nuisance then. Maybe he is just too nice to tell me to stop getting in touch, I don't know.. all I know for certain is he doesn't want a relationship, which he knows I do. But we had a long chat by text on the phone last night and I think it's because he would rather talk about intellectual stuff than romance, we ended up talking about the negative aspects of biomedical psychiatry. A couple of weeks ago I told him the new guy I was with would never be him and he avoided talking about it completely. Maybe he misses the chats we had on the forum? Maybe he isn't relieved I left? I don't know. I assume a lot, but then after he got annoyed at me for texting him too much I kind of feel like he doesn't want me around. Also he won't say much about what's going on in his own life, but ask him about something impersonal like the faults of psychiatry and he can talk for hours. I used to bring up coming down to see him, I don't now, because he ignores it when I say it. He likes me at arms length, I feel, and I don't want to be. That's the bottom line. But if I try to get beyond arms length he finds me annoying. He has never said we shouldn't communicate because I have feelings for him, he just ignores the issue. I am pretty sure I can't get over him unless I stay away though. I think people are right about me avoiding talking to him but maybe he wouldn't want that? It's very confusing. As I say I make assumptions so maybe he doesn't find me a nuisance.. as long as I'm hundreds of miles away and stick to talking about intellectual subjects..