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Originally Posted by NoIdeaWhatToDo
I avoid a lot of things in life (media-based, primarily - news or movies/tv) because I feel too much when I hear/view things. It must have been very challenging for you to absorb everything firsthand. I hope you get some peace for a time and get a chance to nurture yourself. I'm sure you need to be fully recharged before you give all your energy back into your important work there.
I wish it was easier...  |
What motivates me is that I know that I am doing the right thing (well I believe so at least... and if I am wrong, so it be, donīt want to be right) and that it makes difference.. And I am not even sacrfizing that much....
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One more thought - interestingly, this is one thing (the only) that I can find relief in on my way into a depressed episode - there's a sweet spot for me sometimes where I don't feel anything at all, and it can be such a break from feeling everything all the time. If it lasts for any length of time, though, it starts to get pretty damaging. So I wouldn't glorify the cynicism unnecessarily - I think it's a brief and hollow respite.
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I donīt want to become numb to happenings... that would undo my purpose. I need to feel. But I thought I was much more of hardass chick, not somebody who cries by impromptu memorials. I try to be calm around people... but as I said before, I sometimes come off as agressive and fanatical.
I realized itīs all much more complicated than it seemed first (and I knew i was dealing with big big mess).
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