Do you have a therapist you can talk about it to? I worked in a family business (father and 2 daughters) and they hired their "friends" or friends of friends, etc. so it was very "busy" with interactions and it is exciting and "fun". The wife/mother had just died of breast cancer 2-3 months before I came and the business almost died because the owner wasn't participating in it anymore, his heart was kind of "gone" :-( There were over 100 employees and they were kind of worried, etc. When I joined I was in a group of 6-7 women, including the youngest daughter and we worked for the father directly in the front of the business doing the administration/accounting part of the work and most of the women had been there over 6-8-10 years and the dynamic was really intense and a "challenge" to me to get myself to fit in. But the father and daughters had arguments too; the youngest daughter and her father especially, lots of shouting and tears (she still works there, married a Navy man and moved away to follow his career but they're stationed in the same city now and she has gotten her BA in accounting so runs the office now).

I would think about the whole thing from your own life; what is good for you? YOu want nightmares and problems with yourself to continue? As "nice" as the drama is, you probably have to choose between it and the pain of the nightmares and fear of police and damage/danger to others whom you care about? My boss at the company had been there a long time but was lazy and did things his own way (very slowly, never did his invoices on time) and he was constantly getting yelled at by the owner and I'd get in trouble because I was supposed to be "in charge" of him (the big baby :-) and it was "hopeless" because he was never going to change! My therapist said I could stay and get depressed or I could leave; my two choices because nothing I did would make any difference, there'd be no making it "better" and changing the grown men so they did things better. I stayed but for my own reasons not related to changing my boss, there were lots of other relationships I wanted to explore. But I did my job well enough so I kind of made myself obsolete :-) and eventually they made me start working part-time and then I finished therapy and my husband retired so I didn't need to work either so quit entirely, giving them a month or two notice so I could train my replacement. I worked there around 8 years. But look at what's in it for you and the likely outcomes and decide what you want.