I feel like the moment I fully accept it, is the moment it is finished between us, not straight away, but it's leading to eventual defeat 100%.
I think a large part of all that is basically just s**t-testing, to see how would I react and if she can manipulate me, not that she does really, but I guess it just matters to her to feel empowered. Doesn't matter anyways, I'm here primarily because I'd like to discover and dismantle deeper motivations behind somebody acting that way.
She isn't the dominating type, she is the toying type, self-centered...I think.
It just boggles my mind how can you supposedly love someone, and at the same time, be so dismissive and cold of how their actions affect you.
That is my default setting when dealing with other people, except a very small circle of people who I care about, they get my best. I feel like I'm not getting hers, and I won't unsless I start treating her worse, which in my mind is a bit simpleminded.