Well, of course, you would have to know her to be able to even scrach the surface. But that's why I'm trying to explain the situation thoroughly. For others to potentionally read into some of the motivations and possibly profile her cause I'm having a hard time.

Thing were possibly even worse at the start of the relationship, she used to say it's her first serious one and she doesn't really know how to behave still. They are getting better, but the improvements are so slow that im growing weary of it.
I don't want to sound rude, but "accepting her as she is" for me is more of a platitude in this context. I mean I am accepting her as she is, for all her problems, but I can't accept that treating me like this is actually something I should accept.