I believe that was the intent of 'accepting her as she is'...is that you have to decide if the way she is treating you is acceptable to you and if not, then realizing that she is most likely not going to change any behaviors since she doesn't acknowledge them, you will need to walk away from the relationship. I don't think that phrase was meant as a platitude.
Whether a person is in a first or 50th serious relationship, most people know how to respect and honor the person they are with if they love them. You have to figure out what YOU want. And go from there.