I never said you should accept...


I asked if you can.


Me?

I wouldn't.


And that's not because I want a "perfect" partner.


I'm not perfect, my bf certainly is not, and we both come with our own sets of troubles. The relationship was challenging to navigate at various points, we even broke up at one stage, but we've always been committed to each other and to doing whatever it takes.


Part of that included accepting responsibility for shytti behavior (I with my BPD BS, him completely isolating during depressive episodes) and committing to work on changing these damaging behaviors.


This took lots of hard conversations, honesty, trust, commitment and even more hard work.


I asked if you can accept her as is since your gf does not seem interested in walking that particular path with you.


My bf would not have stayed with me if I did not address my MH issues, because they directly affected him in a very negative manner, and it would have been his (sane) right to walk away.


I would not have been able to stay with my bf indefinitely if he kept retreating to a man cave and shutting down. It would have literally driven me crazy over time.


So no.


There was no platitudes in my post, just real life experience.