Thank you all so much for your support! It helps knowing I'm not alone

I saw a psychiatrist years ago and then went to therapy for three years before losing my job.. My therapist said my symptoms fit PTSD. Last year, I saw another psychiatrist who diagnosed me with phobic anxiety disorder, unspecified. The thing is, I can't afford treatment right now..

I know my fears are the result of growing up in an unstable environment.. I asked myself today what I would need to get over this, and heard: 'I need to KNOW that if someone or something threatens me, I'm going to do something about it!' That I won't just stand there, helpless, not doing anything to protect myself.

The thing is, the mere thought of protecting myself feels.. Embarrassing to me! How crazy is that.. But I guess because no one did protect me from my crazy father, I learned I wasn't worth it. But that's not how it was at all.. They, the people in my life, just didn't know any better. It wasn't about my worth at all..

So, I promise myself now I'm going to protect myself no matter what! No matter what it takes, I'm going to keep myself from harm as best I can.. I'm worth it. I'll always be on my own side from now on