Hello, glad that you posted. Also glad you are going to see a dr Tues.

Sorry, but it is b.s. to take you off mediation you clearly need and have benefited from in the past. If you’ll forgive my putting my oar in:

From the NAMI site, Learn More – Mental Health Conditions – Bipolar: “…to be diagnosed with bipolar disorder, a person must have experienced mania or hypomania. Hypomania is a milder form of mania that doesn't include psychotic episodes. People with hypomania can often function normally in social situations or at work. Some people with bipolar disorder will have episodes of mania or hypomania many times; others may experience them only rarely. To determine what type of bipolar disorder people have, doctors test how impaired they are during their most severe episode of mania or hypomania.”

Specific points: “People with hypomania can often function normally in social situations or at work. Some people with bipolar disorder will have episodes of mania or hypomania many times; others may experience them only rarely.” As in my family, some may just hide it very well; unless it is outwardly manifested or openly discussed, you may never know this information.

Under Causes (from the same article; emphasis mine):

“The chances of developing bipolar disorder are increased if a child’s parents or siblings have the disorder. But the role of genetics is not absolute. A child from a family with a history of bipolar disorder may never develop the disorder. And studies of identical twins have found that even if one twin develops the disorder the other may not.”

Bipolar Disorder. (n.d.). Retrieved August 27, 2016, from NAMI: National Alliance on Mental Illness | Bipolar disorder

Know it’s easy for me to say, but would you consider letting your friends know what’s going on w/you right now? They may want to help you over a rough patch, even with a little bit of gas money, a meal, or just a sympathetic ear.

May I suggest even possibly going by a food bank for some help now? I struggle with reaching out, letting others know If I am in need, and felt so conflicted about food stamps/food banks, etc. The help is there, and when I was flat broke it was necessary to keep me going, mentally and physically.

You sound like you are really, truly fighting for your health, to make things better for yourself. Than you are a teacher, spending your money on supplies, says so much about you, that even within this illness you are wanting to improve the world, lives around you. You ARE a good person, even without the contributions – you ARE working hard to get and stay well.

Bipolar is a b**** - you are doing the best you can, right now, to deal with it and minimize the damages to your life and relationships. I’m glad that you posted here, I wish I had something more constructive or helpful…. But perhaps this is my error, and you just need to be heard. I’m sorry if I’ve overstepped – please know you have my admiration and support.