I feel like I am overly emotional about this topic since I only mentioned it to a couple of people in real life as well as on here obviously. To put it short, I hate big changes. For some reason, I feel like I get way more depressed about big changes than I should. Those big changes are usually if I graduate from somewhere, or just in general, the end of a school year.

I didn't experience these feelings as much during my elementary and middle school years, but during my high school and college years, I absolutely hated the end of the year. And even now, since I am employed by a school district, I hated it when the school year came to an end. Although I didn't feel depressed, I still felt the same old familiar feeling of not knowing what to do and just feeling bored in general.

I know it is stupid to get depressed over that stuff, and also whenever it is time to graduate, but I just can't help it. I know everyone gets a bit sad when they graduate, but they are also happy. I was really not happy to graduate. Yes I was glad to have a degree, but at the same time, I was just overwhelmed with depression at that time and I feel like it is somewhat abnormal. I hate being at home so that probably has something to do with it. But I just feel like I get way more depressed than I should and I feel dumb.

Any way to deal with these kinds of emotions or how to lessen the severity of them? In terms of graduating, I am well past that since that was back in May of 2015. Yes I still miss being independent and living away from home, but I no longer dwell on missing college like I used to. When I go to visit, I don't feel as bad or as awkward about the fact that I am no longer a student there.

But I know there will be times when it all happens again. Like, leaving a job I like, or graduating from grad school. Or anything else big that happens in my life. I think it is also just the thought that people will lose touch as well, which understandably happens. I just, for some reason, don't deal with change well at all. I hate the feeling of the unknown and what could happen. I feel really stupid for getting this down at times, but it just happens.

Those are just some examples of events that have happened that I got way more depressed about than I feel like I should have been. Like, when I graduated, I felt like I didn't want to do anything else, since I was just so sad that I had to move back home. When a different school district no longer wanted me due to a false claim of some sort by a possibly miserable teacher, I also felt very depressed.

Even though getting substitute jobs are easy, literally anyone can get it. All you need is a college degree and no criminal history. But I still felt the same feeling of not wanting to do anything and no wanting to get out of bed. I didn't feel that way when the school year ended this past year when I worked at a new district, but I felt depressed when the school years during high school, and more so at college, ended even when it was not time for me to graduate yet.

Does anyone else have this kind of problem, where they get way more anxious, scared, or depressed than most people around them do? Especially events that include moving on, where everyone seems so happy and upbeat but you are just depressed inside, but bottling up in order to not break the happy mood? I know I did that, I made it seem like I was thrilled to leave, even though inside, I was dreading it. How do you deal with these feelings if you experience this?