Hi there,

so earlier this year (March) I was hospitalized for the first time in my life because of a manic episode with psychotic features. I was there for almost two months and put on medication (Seroquel and Valproate).

Now I somehow still struggle to accept the diagnosis, mainly because of the circumstances that led to my hospitalization.
I had been on an antidepressant (Venlafaxine) for some time before (also my first time) and I'm quite certain that this is what kicked me into the mania.
If you want I can elaborate on what happened, but it's not really important for now.

I just want to know if someone has been in the same situation ? How did you deal with it ? I mean what I'm asking myself all the time is: Am I really bipolar or is there a possibility that this was really only the AD?
Also, what I think is quite important: I was a heavy pot smoker for basically half of my life (I'm 26 now) and after some time of being careful when I first started the venlafaxine I soon was back to smoking a lot, I think in the end even more than before. I have stopped now since I was in the hospital. I feel that may have played a role in my depression in the first place and I would really want to know what condition I'd be in now without meds and without smoking... You know what I mean ?

Thanks a lot for reading, any thoughts are appreciated.