Hi, Shygirl, and welcome to PC!
The situation you have experienced is exactly like the one that brought me here to PC over three years ago. As you said, "I'm not an easy girl," and neither am I. I too had been three years without dating a soul when I met a man to whom I felt very attracted. He even indicated he WAS looking for a long-term relationship when I questioned him. But after several dates including sex, I became rather anxious that that was all it was for him. It ended badly because of my concern about this, as he said it was a big part of the attraction between us. The aftermath of which you speak...the embarrassment, humiliation, blaming yourself, contacting the fella (I did too! only to get polite impersonal responses), are all part of the healing process.
You sound much like me in that you take these things very seriously, and it takes a long time to recover. The first year after this happened, I was literally a walking zombie, just putting one foot in front of the other. Shameful to have let a "cad" have so much impact on our lives.
Please PM me any time.
Love
Patty