That doc sounds like an ***. I will say, if you're interested, that I have been tremendously helped by mindfulness work with my T a few years back. She was very warm and nurturing and helped me understand BP and come to terms with how to manage my life knowing that there would be ups and downs and ups and downs and...on and on.

While she suggested meditation, I never really did that part. I was well served, though, by the idea of being present with what was going on in that moment with me. It helped me with managing my symptoms, my stress levels, my awareness of my moods. It helped me to interrupt anxiety loops about potential disasters/tragedies (which I was really prone to follow down the rabbit hole). It helped me to identify when to take breaks from the various stressors and stimuli that were in my daily environment so that I could cope with the rest of my day. And it helped me to be OK with taking care of myself and doing what I needed in the moment to be OK, letting go of the things I would otherwise try to manage to the detriment of my mood and stability.

So I guess, if you're at all interested in a different approach to something that you've tried in the past (and I'm really sorry the Ts you worked on this with were so cold and unyielding!), I wouldn't necessarily write off all aspects of the mindfulness. I find relief even in things like music and art. If I'm stressed, I might turn on a piece of music that fills me up, and just sit and focus on it and how it affects me at that moment. My T would support and encourage things like that. I also knit & crochet - something about how methodical it is and the appealing colors and textures of the yarns really works for me. My T would encourage me to take time to do that, but really focus on it at every level. I wouldn't say it was meditative, but it was mindful. I found it helpful.

I hope you find something that is as helpful for you. And I DEFINITELY hope you find someone who is an effective pdoc who knows what he/she is talking about to assist you. Sadly, this guy sounds like he is going to do some real damage to people - please don't let it happen to you...you sound strong enough to seek out something better.