We had chat last night by text. I know, it was stupid. But he guessed I was back on the forum and texted me to ask and it just went from there.

Apparently the nice guy still wants to be involved with me. I suppose it's ok as long as he realises it's casual. I told him last week a relationship wasn't good for me right now and I just wanted to be friends but to be fair I have said that before and we ended up in bed so he probably doesn't believe me. As long as he realises that it's just a friendship with added extras I am hoping it will be ok. But I have to tell him I can't keep stringing him along if he is hoping for any different. I suppose there's no harm in having fun with him but when I am sleeping with him and dreaming about the other guy that's not a good sign. I feel guilty about it. Do you think I should just cut the nice guy out completely or keep it as is? He knows about the forum guy and says some pretty horrible things about him. He's also racist and homophobic. He's my friend but is quite objectionable sometimes and still I end up sleeping with him. I wonder if maybe I am just lonely and as I can't have who I really want he is a pleasant distraction, at least some of the time when he's not criticising the forum guy or being ignorant. He says he gets very jealous of other men in a partner's life so I think I have to keep him at arms length.

I have just realised I have been calling him a nice guy. Yes he is most of the time but as I say he is a bit ignorant. Just to clarify. I have other friends who are like him and I just accept they are like that. I'm not sure I would like one as a life partner though.