I totally get what you mean about needing to talk about it. I finally have a steady enough therapist (don't plan on switching t"s again any time soon) to feel like I can get somewhere. I also really like that analogy of not being able to talk about it akin to putting a bandaid on a festering wound.

I'm sorry you are so limited in resources... I had that problem when I moved down south. I had no job, and no insurance. I didn't qualify for state aid (can't even remember the reason they gave me anymore). I was able to find a sliding scale clinic to work with. It kinda sucked because the t was done with his practicum after 8 months,but at least I was able to see someone for that time. I'm not sure if there's anything like that near where you are (or if they'd see a problem with you going to the VA and also to a free/ sliding scale clinic...), but it might be an option.

Was there an option of switching therapists within the VA? I think I remember you saying you weren't sure if you wanted to have to start over again, but it might be more bellflower than continually feeling like you aren't getting what you need from therapy.