I was doing so well, all alone, at this conference. I was working the crowd, making new contacts. I even stood up to a racist, sexist bully in front of an entire audience of people and put him in his place. I was feeling relaxed and fairly confident, even though I doubt my independence and authenticity.

Then my h decided to drive up with our son. He admitted to going 110 mph!

We all were having a nice time.

Then this morning, he put his arm over me and laid there, still, no words, no movements.

In order to explain why this set me off to the moon, I'd have to go into a lot of backstory. But, long story short, he did it because I told him I want to be touched and feel loved. So that was his big move. Even though he has done this several times before, without moving, where I flip out, he does it again, acting like it never happened before.

One of the nights, a man that I know, inappropriately rubbed my back. He's a sleazy guy and I didn't encourage him, but honestly it felt good to be touched for real by a man who enjoyed touching me. His touch felt passionate, where my husband's does not.

So today, I got hysterical, left the conference early, driving with my son who didn't say a word the whole trip home. Dropped him off at our house, vowing I will never step foot in there again.

Tomorrow, I will pick him up to take him to school. Then I will get him a bed and make him move in here with me.