this is one of the reasons i dont have friends...
i am too sensitive so people always trigger me or will do something that just ruins things..
so my ability to trust has been destroyed, i dont even trust myself anymore which is another reason i dont have friends
cant trust myself to be able to tell sincerity or not, so i always let people walk over me and they usually will because i am very kind and people have no problem taking advantage of me... perhaps its as some people have told me before, i am gullible...
but i have learned that its not worth my pain.. im happier not even worrying about it...
so i just do what i can for myself, try to continue to be kind to everyone around me without developing any attachments... which is another problem because i do have disorganized attachment problems ..

i wouldnt say this is the right way to live or suggest it to anyone, but its the only way i can live right now without making all of my other problems worse...
i cant trust or rely on anyone, if i dont then they cant hurt me or let me down, atleast so much

i know what its like to feel alone so you are not alone with this affliction

i hope that you can try to continue to focus on yourself, your wellbeing, and the recovery of your essence... strength is a strange facet we all have..
exertion causes us to feel weak... but it takes a strong person to push themselves to the point of exertion... we just have to find the time and compassion for ourselves enough to let ourselves take a much needed rest and break.. to recover some of the strength that we do have, because all of us are very strong but because of how much we go through internally we lose our resilience to certain extents ... sometimes it takes a little extra time to regain it, but we can regain it...

like a body builder, repetition builds muscles... right?
hopefully the more times we bounce back and regain reslience .. the stronger we can become and more we can put up with... right..?
just have to give ourselves the time and rest we need to recover... give ourselves extra attention and understanding that we are hurting, cant force yourself to walk on 2 broken legs.. have to take the time to recover

im rambling.. but i hope that you are hanging in there...
we all want you to be safe and recover with speed