Didn't lose the feeling. It grew. It changed. We got closer.

I had a difficult time framing my feelings and putting them into words tonight and T was frustrated in his inability to connect with me and said so. At first it felt a little like criticism.

We talked it through. I called afterward and left him a message explaining what I experience in those moments when I can't connect. Then I called again and left another and asked him to call me and leave me a message if he understood what I was saying. (I wasn't available to speak.)

Not only did he call and leave the message, but he thanked me for mine. Then he said that he realized he would have to tolerate his own frustration. I realized that his frustration in not being able to connect with me was a mirror of my confusion because I wasn't connecting with me. So he was actually right there with me!

I called him back again and left him another message, letting him know how much I appreciated his message and how I felt he had been right there with me. Sigh.