Hey.. well I called after the SI but it was to limit further SI that I felt coming... and that did work.... I didn't do anything additional that night.

I think I was testing... because as I was saying, "You really don't have to call me back" there was this little part of my unconscious that was saying, "That %#@&#! better call me back if he gives a %#@&#!..."

And then I put myself in a really bad place because I end up feeling really disconnected from him.

I'm such a big, stupid baby. %#@&#! %#@&#! %#@&#! %#@&#!