The plan was that in September I was supposed to move from MN to Phoenix. I originally lived in Phx for 30 years and came to MN 2.5 years ago for health reasons mental and physical health.

Since I got here my dad died and I moved a year later with my mom to her new home in a really small town. I awaited 2 years and 2 months for SSDI but on appeal was denied.

That was my funding to go back to Phx. My mom would help me a bit but I have to find a place to live with no rent for awhile. Which would be my daughter’s studio apartment that she shares with another girl. I could stay there for 2 weeks and look for a job.

Secondly I can stay with another friend for 2 weeks while I am looking for work. After that I am out of luck as to where to stay as I won’t have any money for rent yet probably.

I’m scared to death because I know if I stay here in MN at mom’s house I will probably have a nervous breakdown. It is because I am very bored and have nothing to do other than read and the Internet.

I am looking for a job but this is a tiny town with not much to offer at all. I have filled out a couple of resumes and am trying to find more places to apply at.

My issue with going to Phx is that my brother was going to tow my car for me as he is going on vacation in that direction. The above shows the downside as I am afraid I don’t have even enough confidence to look for jobs there. I had an ebay business for 14 years and was a stay at home. I got divorced in2005, met a really nice man, whom a year later ended up with brain cancer, so I was his caregiver until 2008 when he passed. I continued to do the ebay business up until a month ago.

I am just so burnt out on it. I can’t do it anymore. I’m afraid if I go to Phoenix I will end up homeless. I have a nice car, but not much money. But again I am afraid to stay at mom’s because I am so bored and lonely and if no job arises, that will be even worse.

I just wish I had someone in Phoenix whose place I could stay at indefinitely (a safe place to land) while I look for work so I don’t have the pressure. I can’t handle any pressure right now.

I would welcome anyone’s thoughts. I figure if I don’t have the confidence to go now when will I?????????????

Thanks for listening.
Carrie