((((((((((((barrett))))))))))))))) only if you want them.

i understand loving but not liking your father. you love him and what he has meant to you at times, but don't like the way he treats you and others. you have every right to BOTH of those feelings it would seem.

i'm not going to say anything that you might want to hear or haven't possibly heard before. however, i'll say this...you can love your father and still take care of yourself.

first of all, visitation in this state is not manditory to child support. in other words, if you're in a situation that you shouldn't be at your father's, visitation could be halted or supervised and your father would still have to pay support. you need to check the child support enforcement agency laws in your state. it should be the same. i just don't want that to influence your decision of making yourself go to your father's house. he can't stop support because you refuse or ask not to go. maybe you could just back off visits due to your life getting much busier all of the sudden???

secondly, you don't deserve the way your father is treating you. he may possibly be resentful of some things in his life and taking them out on you...which you don't deserve. you can still love your father and get help for yourself and your sister by telling and hopefully the situation could improve. it would not make you a bad or unloving daughter to not want to be treated badly. somehow, your father has to get the fact that to continue to have him regularly in his life, he needs to treat you with the respect that you deserve. i'm sure you feel pretty stuck and don't want to make more waves, but sometimes we have to ride waves just to get to the shore.

i really wish you well and hope you stay in touch. if you decide not to do anything at this point, you can just use us for a sounding board? you're in a tough position, but you also show a great strength.

please keep in touch?

Be safe,
Kimmydawn