leomama, if I may, ...

People love to invalidate our feelings because it makes them right and us wrong. It's a basic characteristic of the human ego - wanting to be right/superior.

My point is - yes, trust your emotions.

About being "normal" ... no such thing ! I also don't believe in "mental illness" for the same reason. Think about it - what is a "mentally ill" person really ? A person who belongs to the minority and has been labeled by the majority. The same majority that started two wars in the 1900s and killed 180 million people. Those people who started these wars or kept them going didn't see psychiatrists. They were labeled "highly respected" or "model citizen" or whatever. Were they really ?

You get what I'm saying. It's important not to take ***anyone's*** words/opinions too seriously. Take every piece of advice with a grain of salt.

Now, about the relationship with an "unstable" person. Again, what does that label really mean ? Nothing. What you're really asking is - can you have a stable relationship with a person. No labels here.

The answer, I think, is this -

From my life experience, I can only say that, your relationship in the early stages ("honeymoon phase") is probably the best time you are ever going to experience with that person. It generally goes downhill from there. It's a question of what you can live with and what you can't.

So, if things aren't very good in the beginning, forget it ! It's only going to get worse from there !

People will not change for your sake. They ... just ...will ... not ...change. So, can you live with who they are and let them be who they are ?

Sorry if I didn't answer your question, but I just don't value labels much.