Thank you elevated... No too much.

And all of it right on target except about this guy's relationship with the rest of the department. He is very popular and funny and he's not gossipy. I like him for the same reasons. And he has a great repore with everyone which is why now when I'm there I feel cut off from everyone because they're all chatting and he fits right in and I'm the (self imposed) outcast.

One other coworker does know my specific problem and she is supportive and I think the others are too. I think there may have been some general discussion about my behavior making it a hostile workplace for everyone (and someone did complain to the shop owner and the production manager.... Some time ago they called me into the office and said they wanted me back at work steadily but they needed it for me to be the "real" me not the one that is snapping at people. I really blew up at them because don't they think *I* want the "real me" back more than anyone???)

But in any case I truly believe all of my coworkers will be happy when I'm back (including him) as long as I'm not snappy but this one guy with this one email has fueled my depression into thinking I've damaged my relationships with everyone. I know it is untrue but as with this whole journey I've been on since December knowing that doesn't stop the anxiety and the pain.