Yesterday I was struck with a strong urge to I wanted to get outside in the dark and do something immoral and reprehensible just to create chaos.

I mostly saw images and concepts of what would happen, and I felt excited and anxious at the same time. Some of these thoughts were involving my family and close friends, yet I felt no remorse at the time, only excitement.

Afterwards I started to feel sick when I thought about my lack of remorse, and I am still unsure if I was truly sad or if I just thought it was "the right" reaction to have.

I have had homicidal and suicidal intrusive thoughts before, these however were more like impulses.