I think I'm starting to unravel. I'm trying so desperately to hold on to something, to keep myself together, but it's so hard. Self-destruction feels like the only option. Sure, I can sit around and listen to my family and my boyfriend talk about how great I am and how much they love and care about me, but what does that help? I've been hearing it for months and I still feel miserable. I want to rip myself apart and scream and cry. I feel like I'm barely holding it together. How can everyone look at me and be so calm and sure that things are going to get better? Can't they see the pain I'm feeling, how much agony I'm in every day I get out of bed? How can they not understand?

I think I need someone to talk to. I need help. Everything is spiraling out of control, and I'm terrified of losing it all.