I just wanted to add that if things happened to you as a child it's important you go slow and don't "magnify" the intrusive memories that you have experienced. Try not to decide more happened then did happen too. I don't want to say what you remember did not happen, only you can know that, but you don't want to further traumatize yourself and go crazy thinking you have to remember "more" then you are.

You are right in not leaving your child with your parents IMHO, I don't care "how" nice they seem to be now, what they did was very wrong and criminal and may have done so with other children you don't even know about. People that do these things can "seem" nice but they ARE sex offenders.

You are welcome to vent here as needed. No need to appologize for the length of your posts. It's good to get things out in "words" as often our memories are storred in areas of our brain that don't have language and it's helpful to put things into words so you can finally process them.

((Hugs))
OE