oh, i wanted to say i took the DES again the other day (sometime)
and i scored 67 ..
i've been trying to take it through out the year to see if it would go down but its been increasing
i dunno how many times i have done it but from what i can see i have scored in the 60s every time.. 67 i think being the highest yet

its odd how you can be feeling that stuff for so long and not know what it is and not really pay attention to it, guess its the same with how my memory is... but i guess i never payed attention to how bad my memory was because i was just paying attention to numbing the pain with alcohol and stuff

i always try to answer on the low end with that test as well so i cant really understand how its so high..
but on everyquestion im like hmm, yeah... yeah... yeah.... this is crazy, everyone does this stuff, i thought, -click click click-

guess everyone doesnt have such a weird view of the world, always thought i was different but... now i just think im crazy for real

anyway, ima go be quiet - a few billion words is enough for 1 night