I have had more suicidal thoughts and have a stash of old meds that could due me in. It just makes me more comfortable having a way out. I'm not going to tell anyone about this, I know the the ins/outs of mental hospitals (besides being a patient more than once, worked in one as well). I can't seem to find the right combination of meds and I'm so frustrated. But trying to get approved for ECT. 😭