We talked last night (I called). First i noticed something. Once he realized it was me, he hesitated. Then it turned into an unbelievable polite conversation (i'm having this feeling i spoke about this before, but oh well). He asked me questions about myself, non invading type questions i had no problem with realky, just part of the conversation. Wait, Im going ahead of myself.
First, he said his daughter and grandchildren were in town, they all went to a restaurant, had a good time. Good.
He turned his attention to her...the mother from hell. And like I really wanted to hear about her, he began telling me a glorious story about how happy momma was spending time at the restaurant with her family. The witch! She probably was trying to figure a way to spite their soft drinks without, of course, them knowing it. I wouldn't put it pass her! He's telling me how tired she is/was but like it was a good tired.
We talked some more. But i was getting a little, i dont know, something, so i made up some crap about i gotta go because of having to go to the store. Then he, unbelievable said, in his i guess best imitating voice of whatever, dryly polite like a business man. No wait. Surely y'all had a store person say to you in that phony caring voice "Thank you for coming"? Sure you have.
Well, that's exactly how he said it to me when he said "Thank you for calling." Are you kidding me or what?!
A woman friend feels I need to be understanding because of momma since she obviously has him in her unbelievably sticky web. She feels i need to give him some slack. Really? Right. That because of the situation between him and controlling, narcissistic, manipulative momma, that I need to let him, via my actions, that he is a man, and encourage him to stand up for himself.
Look. First, when I met him i wasn't looking for no foolhardly man (manchild?). Secondly, if I was looking and "wishing and hoping" i certainly wouldn't be looking for a manchild.
Don't get me wrong now. He's very nice, sexy as hell, and pleasing to the eyes. But i want more than a statue. I want more than nice words. I want a relationship doggone it! Oh i know, as in aware of, that things take time. My friend feels that I should text him, as in send him textS. This will make, help, encourage, whatever...him to be more than he could be (and that's putting it mildly). She says when i do so, to put in a little flirt likeva wink eye emoti or whatever those things are called. This, she feels, will draw him to me, and help him to see that he is worth something after all, especially in view of him being around the witch.
But in the meantime, while I'm doing all this work, what about me? Is that being selfish? Basically, perhaps without my friend realizing it (god bless her soul), it'll all amount to chasing!!!! And lord help my soul! Because child let me tell you, i don't care how much I may bleed for any man...I AINT CHASING NO FOOL MAN!!!! i don't care how much i like, love, care or whatever about him I AIN'T CHASING NO MAN!!!! I would so much as let my heart bleed than belittle myself like that. For while im not bragging, let me tell you...i never had to run after no man, and i sure as hell aint gonna start now!!!
I like my friend. I really do. But this time the girl done blew a fuse or something with that one.
Nope. Aint gonna do it. Don't y'all get me wrong now. I like this man. I really, really, really, really, REALLY do. But guess what? I sure loves me some of me!!!!
Sooo, i guess I'll just have to cry myself to sleep over him and what coulda been. But there's something about tears that perhaps no one thought about. And what's that you ask? This:
Tears have this unique ability to dry up. YOU don't have to do the drying all the time. They just do it on their own. It's called life goes on.