I guess I have a problem with the concept of having sex with someone after only 3 dates & yet saying that you "aren't easy" just because you hadn't dated for 2 years. It's not what you are doing when you aren't dating...it's what you do when you are dating that defines "easy".

Personally, for me, it would have to be a whole lot longer & I would have to know the guy very very well before I would ever have sex with him. I would have to know that the relationship was going to be a permanent one & have plans being made to make it permanent (ie marriage) before I would get involved at that level with a guy. I honestly don't believe that you can ever know anyone that well in that short of time to even know their intentions....even if they are saying how serious they are. I have a very different opinion of relationships, & sex is very low on the priority. If I don't have a good understanding & enjoy being with a person for the things of everyday life, then I don't have a relationship & sex can't make that good & there is no guy that will ever push me into the sex without the good everyday relationship.

I have been married for 32 years, & there are times where I still don't know my husband....so how you can know someone after 3 dates and knowing them at work....just doesn't make sense in my mind.

That is where it is important to know yourself as a woman & what you want out of a relationship & making sure you are getting what you want & not letting youself be pushed around & manipulated by the guy.

It sounded like you had plenty of chances to tell him what you thought of him & ended up backing down & saying you were sorry....Sorry for what? You finally figured yourself out at the end after he was gone.

The true test will be how you handle the next relationship....what you learned from this experience. You say the guy should have told you his intentions....why would he want to do that? Unless he lied to you & told you he wanted a serious relationship, he wouldn't have gotten what he wanted. Guys have a tendency to say nothing & leave the woman guessing....& of course, a guy would never do that!!!! No way would he treat me like that...he has to care about me if he's dating me?????? We have all kinds of rationalizations & explainations as to why a guy wants to date us....when all it just might be is for the sex & they sure won't say that!!!!

As far as him being engaged & the girl cheated on him....maybe he gave her cause to cheat...& she wasn't really cheating, but breaking up the engagement? When you don't know what really went on in the relationship, it's hard to know exactly what is the truth. Whether he was out to hurt other girls because he was hurt or that is just the way he behaves with women? You really didn't know him well enough to know the truth....you were only placing your thoughts & concepts on him....not that they were really his own.

The main thing is that relationship is over & the strange chase for the time afterwards probably shouldn't have ever happened (as you well know). Its time to let it go & get on with your life rather than obcessing over the past & what happened. Hopefully you have learned that you don't start off giving them sex unless you are also in it for the fun because that is what most guys will think when on the first few dates sex becomes part of it. Remember that relationships grow into sex....if the other parts aren't there & the feelings aren't there, very seldom does a relationship grow out of sex.

Hope some other views about relationships will help you think about yours in the future,
Debbie