I'm at a place where I don't feel like there's much more room for improvement. Of course there are little things, but not major things. My past is my past, and it's made me the way I am today. And in 8 months, I'll be without my T. I don't think I'll be getting another T as there doesn't seem to be anything left to work on.

But I'm not okay. I still struggle with my depression and anxiety. I've been told by both my T and Pdoc that I'll probably have suicidal thoughts for the rest of my life.

So what's the point of life? Why live?

I have a lot of good things in my life. I have my family, fiance, 3 wonderful dogs, good doctors, and a beautiful new house. But it's not enough to make me happy. And if/when I have a child, I know s/he won't fill the emptiness inside me. Nothing will. No one will.

So what does one live for? Why do you keep fighting the struggles in life? Can one person be enough? Can a dog be enough? Do you live just so you don't hurt others?