Hi there,

As many others here may tell you, we can't diagnose anybody here on PC. I, for one, am not a mental health professional and those who may be can't do it for ethical reasons. And although there is a lot written in the popular press about covert narcissism, it isn't a diagnosis in the DSM, as you probably know.

However, I have been diagnosed with PDNOS (Personality Disorder Not Otherwise Specified) and I had a lot of characteristics of OCPD in the past and I wonder if that might not be something you would like to look into? In some ways it's like the opposite of NPD -- both tend to be perfectionists but OCPD'ers tend to want to try to BECOME perfect while NPD'ers tend to want to consider themselves perfect already and be around people who reflect that back to them, too. I have been covertly narcissistic, I think, and co-dependent -- both of them kind of the flip side of overt NPD. But that's just my own speculation, helped by some feedback I've gotten from this forum.

I'm self-absorbed and at this point, after much therapy, I don't think my obsession with going to therapy has helped a lot with that. But it started before I went to therapy, and it seems to me there can be a lot of reasons for a person to be self-absorbed. If you want to try to untangle some of those reasons, then therapy might be something you want to try -- but in my experience there aren't many therapists who can help a lot with the personality disorder itself. Being aware of yourself helps. And these forums have helped me. In person support groups for the depression and trauma, not personality disorder per se, also have helped.

Hope this helps you some? I don't have OCD, just the remnants of OCPD, but maybe some of your worries are because of that rather that a PD? Just a thought.