My self esteem has always been a little on the low side. I've been focusing on building it back up for the last few years. But most definitely, the worse my depression is, the worse my self esteem becomes. When I am not feeling too depressed, the gains in esteem aren't as good as the losses when I'm down. I sometimes have to "fake it until I make it" and that helps a little bit.

I guess I feel so low because I can't figure out how to stop my depression cycle and so it makes me feel frustrated and useless.