I don't feel ashamed as much as guilty. I was really out of commission this weekend: had to get help with kids, no shower, house messy. Really felt gross. I felt like a MI parody or whatever.

I constantly ask myself "what's wrong with you? Why can't you get anything done? Why are you so LAZY?" Why can't I just get my s*** together?

And no, I don't think people understand about MI. My family uses it as a weapon and an insult so I only share things with my brother. I don't tell people bc I never want to deal with blank stares. Also, I've always been a private person and I've found some people have big mouths so I'm hesitant that way.

I don't cry either. I think my medications have just made it impossible anymore. I think it would be nice sometimes.