<font color="#000088">Well I haven't cut for 3 1/2 weeks now. I just figured, why am I just doing these little cuts that aren't even taking away enough of the pain inside,yet leaving all these tiny scars instead,for nothing! So I decided that if I'm going to cut at all, I might as well wait until I'm ready to do it right, to where it will take enough pain away, so the scars won't be for nothing! That way I won't be wasting my time on stupid little scratches that aren't even going to bleed enough to take away my pain!
I'm a deep cutter, not a scratcher! It takes much more to take my pain away than just a few little drops! It takes atleast 2-3 pints! Sometimes more! So I'm not gonna do it, until I'm ready to lose that much! And I did tell my PDoc I wouldn't lose that much before I saw him next week! So I have to keep my word!And hold out until after I see him! That way I didn't break my promise of not going deep enough for a transfusion!
It sucks having that much pain, to where it takes that much to let it out, but that's just my life! If my Dad were still alive,I wouldn't be in as much pain! I never had the chance to deal with his death! I just had it rubbed in my face, by my family! Making it that much harder! So I'm not cutting right now. I'm saving the space for the big one's! The little one's don't do me any good anyway!(((((((((ickydog2006)))))))) </font>