Sorry for the novel…

I've been dating my boyfriend for about a year and a half (known him for 5). We decided to move in together starting in March and it seemed like the perfect idea, despite the fact that I do truly love living alone. Besides having bouts of major depression I'm very introverted and like being alone for days on end. But I figured this was a great next step in our relationship and we were both extremely happy (it isn't my first time living with a significant other so I kinda thought I knew what to expect).

Anyway, boyfriend has a 10-year-old cat. Let’s call him Jerkface. Jerkface was always nice enough to me when I would come visit. The cat even liked sitting in my lap from time to time. Jerkface hates almost everyone and will hiss and bite them (even cat owners we know loathe Jerkface). I think Jerkface realized there was something going on between boyfriend and me and so he should get used to me being around. Boyfriend was happy that Jerkface took a liking to me.

In March we moved in together to a completely new apartment. I said goodbye to my beautiful apartment and have been in hell every since. To be fair I’ve had a lot of major changes this year that have aggravated my depression, but the living situation has been a major factor.

The problem is Jerkface went berserk when we moved. Boyfriend then left for a month for work training and the cat viciously attacked our roommate to the point where she almost needed stitches (she’s also very allergic). The cat also tried to attack me when I came over to feed him. But boyfriend has been back for several months now and Jerkface is still a Jerkface.

The major issue I have is that Jerkface has been suddenly gifted over to me. He’s now my cat. I don’t want a cat. I’m not a fan, and the cat doesn’t want anyone but his original owner. But boyfriend no longer works from home and he keeps so busy with other stuff that he’s rarely around. So who has to put up with an animal that hisses, moans, bites, destroys furniture, gets up on kitchen counters, leaves massive amounts of hair all over the furniture and who vomits hairballs daily to clean up? ME! Boyfriend comes home late, plays with him for 10 minutes (at my request) and then comes to bed. Sometimes when he’s home at night he’ll watch TV and let the cat up on his lap. He’ll pet him while watching TV. That’s usually the extent of their contact.

Boyfriend goes to his part-time employment then fills his schedule with hobbies so that he’s almost never home. While I like keeping busy myself, I work from home full-time so I have no choice but to be around this animal that doesn’t want me around and who whines constantly or acts out because he wants boyfriend’s attention, even though boyfriend is never here.

I’m becoming extremely resentful that I have to put up with this animal when it’s his responsibility. I’ve tried everything to make this cat happy but seriously what about my happiness? I’ve talked to boyfriend about this until I’m blue in the face. All he does is apologize a lot. But the other night he actually had the audacity to say, “It’s like I’m giving my helpless baby to you to take care of.” Umm…what?! NO…..

I’ve tried cat forums but people keep telling me things like “Get another cat!” “Why don’t you give it more love and attention” or “Why don’t you give it a better life with more activities and stimulation”. I’m at my rope. Why is it MY responsibility to do any of these things? It’s my boyfriend’s pet! I’m all about giving an animal the best quality of life but at whose expense? My boyfriend doesn’t take care of his animal. I told him he needed to at least start picking up after the cat or I was done. He’s at least done that for the most part (I still live in a cat hair-infested world most of the time) but the cat still needs attention.

Because of this, I’m starting to hate this cat and what it’s doing to my life, and I feel like an awful person for saying this. Boyfriend doesn’t even seem to care about the cat since he’s never here to care for him, but yet the idea of rehoming him has him nearly in tears. I want to move out but unfortunately I can’t because he doesn’t make enough to afford the place with our roommate. I don’t know how to get through the next two years of this hell. I’ve become so depressed that I’ve become complacent in the fact that I’m just going to sit around miserable for two years. I don’t like feeling so low that I’ve abandoned hope.

And to see how he is with his own pet makes me worried about a future with children in it. Will I be the one doing all the work while he’s off having a grand ole time?