im suppose to call the mother to check to see if she is ok because of the hurricane in florida. it is whats expected of me as the good daughter. if i do not call this may close the door forever . i dont know what i even want to do .im still paralyzed with messy thoughts that i cant sort out .this should be a freaking no brainier.let her go but she is my mother all this is leaving me feeling so horrible .but then the things she did and are still doing make me feel horrible . im obsessing with wanting to SI wanting to take a hammer and beat the crap out of my feet that are alreay injured. i cant get the thought out of my head . im stressed more because once again my T is probibly going on vacation next week so ill see her today and then not for 2 weeks. i cant talk to her about all of this .i know i wont be able to because im just trying to hold it together without SI and falling apart .im terrified to talk about everything and then not be able to see her next week or even call her (not that i would)