I wanted to also add to my original post, because I didn't want to make it crazy long, as I said my ex and I have been emailing back and forth a few times since the break up, and I have tried to get her to talk a little more about the break up and she will only hold to her original reasoning for the break up and says maybe I can find a better explanation one of these days maybe not if I can find the words to explain....then she just goes on to say she won't talk about it and isn't going to hash it over because the hurt and grief of the break up is still to fresh...She just holds onto the shes moving forward, and Loved me and a piece of her always will...

She's talked about how she has had to hid pics of us and of other stuff we've done together from her Facebook timeline because the memories that popup are to painful, and it hurts to much to see them...but on the other hand when we broke up she unfriended me on Facebook...but I can still see some stuff on her Facebook and there are still some pics of us together and stuff on there she has left... but on the other hand I did see a comment she had put on a post of a friend that is in a new relationship she commented and said, " And here I am single after 7 years." and her friend told her just wait the happiness she had never experienced with someone will come along when she least expects it..." she said back." I am loving my life the way it is and wouldn't change a thing." was that just to appear strong and happy for her friends sake? and for her sake?

She had told me she is having problems paying the payment on the place we lived in and her other bills.." keeping her head above water" as she put it... but stays very vague.. and I know she has started smoking again....after quitting for over a year...So is she doing as well as she really wants me to think?

I try to give her, her space and leave her alone.. I just wonder if she misses me and thinks about me.. and like I said if her feelings a really more then she is willing to admit, but shes hiding behind something.