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LovelyChantel · 12:53 PM

Was told the "water stuff" sounds a lot like water boarding. Luckily I wasn't tied down or anything. So I guess that's good and I'm lucky.

I really think they didn't know they were doing anything wrong. I dont know. A lot of the things they'd do to me/us it's like I don't know if they knew that what they were doing wasn't okay things to do.

But I mean, like some of the things... Just can't see how they COULDN'T see that it wasn't okay...

Like when my dad would

Possible trigger:

pull and manually manipulate my tendons (his favorites were in my neck, arms, wrists, genital areas, back of legs, ankles, etc) and pull them away from the bones and stretch them and grind them and hurt our nerve bundles causing "nerve shocks" to shoot through our whole body making me feel "light headed", shaky, and felt like I was convulsing (in a way) as it interfered with our nerves and was mind-blowing pain.

Or when they'd (my parents) get mad and

Possible trigger:

choke/strangle me

(happened rarely).

Or the severe beltings.

Or other weird and creepy things (sexual things) but not "too sexual" which makes it all the more confusing.

It's just there was so much love. And oftentimes love was done at the same time as the "abuse" so it ****ed with my head so bad.

Always was hurting self as far back as we can remember. Always doing bad and sexual things to self, others, dolls, and toys and hurting self in all ways we could.

Also had so many psych issues yet all they did was scribe medicines (at age 8) and not even ask WHY we were acting the way that we were..

So yes, It's a very scary feeling,

Possible trigger:

the feeling of choking on water. I hated being woke up like that. Sometimes when they'd (my parents) did the water thing they would also turn the lights on and off so fast that they flickered and it was at such a fast rate that it made me disoriented, confused, and lightheaded (especially when done that fast and whilst one has been asleep). The light thing was one of their alternatives to do along with the water or instead of the water, depending.

But they truly were just trying to get me awake. I think I am probably making a big deal out of it. It's just I hated those flashing lights. I hated them. I hated the water too.